Mac OS X 10.14.4+ for Safari Mac OS X 10.7+ for Chrome and Firefox Supported Browsers Chrome 75+, Firefox 68+, Microsoft Edge 80+, Safari 12+. Veteran actor Rory Calhoun stars as the delightfully fiendish Farmer Vincent in this deliciously ghoulish tale of the macabre that has now become a cult classic.
| Motel Hell | |
|---|---|
| Directed by | Kevin Connor |
| Produced by | Robert Jaffe Steven-Charles Jaffe |
| Written by | Robert Jaffe Steven-Charles Jaffe Tim Tuchrello (uncredited) Frank Cotolo (uncredited) |
| Starring | Rory Calhoun Paul Linke Nancy Parsons Nina Axelrod Wolfman Jack |
| Music by | Lance Rubin |
| Cinematography | Thomas Del Ruth |
| Edited by | Bernard Gribble |
| Distributed by | United Artists |
Release date | |
Running time | 102 minutes |
| Country | United States |
| Language | English |
| Budget | $3 million (estimated)[1] |
| Box office | $6.3 million |
Motel Hell is a 1980 American comedy horror film directed by Kevin Connor[2] and starring Rory Calhoun, Nancy Parsons, and Nina Axelrod. The plot follows farmer, butcher, motel manager, and meat entrepreneur Vincent Smith, who traps travelers and harvests them for his human sausages.
Because of its low budget, the original intent was to make a serious horror film, with moments of disturbing wit and irony. It is often seen as a satire of modern horror films such as Psycho and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.[3][4]
Plot[edit]
Based on a true story out of Wrocław (Poland) about German serial killer and cannibal Karl Denke, Farmer Vincent Smith and his younger sister Ida live on a farm with an attached motel, named 'Motel Hello' (but the neon 'O' flickers, turning the name into 'Motel Hell'). Vincent's renowned smoked meats are actually human flesh. He sets traps on nearby roads to catch victims. He buries the victims up to their necks in his 'secret garden', then cuts their vocal cords to prevent them from screaming. They are kept in the ground and fed until they're ready for 'harvest'. Ida helps Vincent, as they both see the victims as animals.
Vincent shoots out the front tire of a couple's motorcycle. The male, Bo, is placed in the garden, but Vincent brings the female, Terry, to the motel. Sheriff Bruce, Ida and Vincent's naive brother, arrives the next morning. Vincent tells Terry her boyfriend died in the accident and was buried. A trip to the graveyard shows his crude grave marker. With nowhere to go, Terry decides to stay at the motel. She gradually becomes attracted to Vincent's honest manner and folksy charm, much to Bruce's dismay, who tries to woo her without success.
Vincent captures more victims by placing wooden cardboards of cows in the middle of the highway to cause his victims to stop, allowing him to capture them. He also places a fake ad and lures in a pair of swingers, believing the hotel to be a swing joint. The next day, Vincent suggests he teach Terry to smoke meat. Ida becomes jealous and attempts to drown Terry, but Vincent arrives to save her. This causes Terry to fall in love with him completely, and she tries to seduce Vincent. Vincent denies her advances, saying they must marry first. She agrees to marry the following day.
Bruce visits the motel to protest Terry's choice. He tells Terry that Vincent has 'syphilis of the brain'. Vincent arrives and drives off his brother with a shotgun. Vincent, Terry, and Ida drink champagne, but Ida drugs Terry's glass and she faints. Ida and Vincent then prepare some victims for the wedding. Meanwhile, Bruce investigates the disappearances and becomes suspicious of his brother.
Vincent and Ida kill three victims and take them to the slaughterhouse. As they remove the victims' bodies, the dirt around Bo loosens and he begins to escape. Bruce sneaks back to the motel to rescue Terry, but Ida returns. She ambushes Bruce and knocks him out, then holds Terry at gunpoint to the meat processing plant where Vincent reveals his secret. Terry is horrified by the prospect of smoking human flesh. Meanwhile, Bo escapes and frees the other victims from the garden. Ida goes back to the motel to get something to eat, but the victims attack her and knock her out. Terry tries to escape, but Vincent gases her and ties her to a conveyor belt. He is interrupted by Bo, who crashes through a window, but Vincent strangles the weakened Bo.
Bruce awakens and finds one of his brother's shotguns. He goes to the plant but finds that his brother has armed himself with a giant chainsaw and placed a pig's head over his own as a gruesome mask. Vincent disarms his brother, but Bruce grabs his own chainsaw and duels Vincent. During the fight, the belt restraining Terry is activated, sending her slowly to a cutting blade. Despite his wounds, Bruce drives the chainsaw deep into Vincent's side. Bruce frees Terry and returns to Vincent. He gasps his final words, leaving the farm and 'secret garden' to Bruce and lamenting his own hypocrisy for using preservatives.
Bruce and Terry go to the 'secret garden' and find only Ida, who is buried head first. As they leave the motel, Bruce comments he is glad he left home when he was eleven. Terry suggests burning the motel, claiming it's evil. The neon sign saying 'Motel Hello' fully short-circuits, permanently darkening the 'O'.
Cast[edit]
- Rory Calhoun as Vincent Smith
- Paul Linke as Sheriff Bruce Smith
- Nancy Parsons as Ida Smith
- Nina Axelrod as Terry
- Wolfman Jack as Reverend Billy
- Elaine Joyce as Edith Olson
- Dick Curtis as Guy Robaire / 1st TV Preacher
- Monique St. Pierre as Debbie
- Rosanne Katon as Suzi
- E. Hampton Beagle as Bob Anderson
- Everett Creach as Bo Tulinski
- Michael Melvin as Ivan
- John Ratzenberger as Drummer
- Marc Silver as Guitarist
- Victoria Hartman as Female Terrible
- Gwil Richards as Mr. Owen
- Toni Gillman as Mrs. Owens
- Shaylin Hendrixson as Twin #1
- Heather Hendrixson as Twin #2
Production[edit]
The movie was primarily filmed at the Sable Ranch in Santa Clarita, California, with the white brick stable as the backdrop to the motel and farm. The Sable Ranch has been used in hundreds of Hollywood and independent movies and TV shows since the early 1920s.[citation needed] Interiors of the motel, farm, and smokehouse were filmed at the Laird International Studios in Culver City, California. The score, composed by Lance Rubin, was recorded at Warner Brothers Studios.
Release[edit]
Critical response[edit]
On the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, Motel Hell holds a 71% approval rating based on 24 critic reviews, with an average rating of 5.99/10. The consensus reads: 'Eerie and satirical, Motel Hell has no vacancy when it comes to low-brow horror gags.”[5] On Metacritic, the film has an average score of 64 out of 100, based on reviews from seven critics, indicating 'generally favorable reviews'.[6]
Roger Ebert gave it 3/4 stars, writing, 'What Motel Hell brings to this genre is the refreshing sound of laughter. This movie is disgusting, of course; it's impossible to satirize this material, I imagine, without presenting the subject matter you're satirizing.'[7] Adam Tyner from DVD Talk awarded the film 4/5 stars, writing, 'With its cacklingly dark sense of humor and some unforgettably twisted visuals, Motel Hell still feels fresh and wildly unique even all these decades later.'[8]The Terror Trap gave the film 3/4 stars, calling it 'A thoroughly enjoyable low budget horror with effective, low key doses of black humor'.[9] Anthony Arrigo from Dread Central rated the film a score of 4/5, calling it 'a darkly humorous film, played straight, replete with equal parts hilarity and horror'.[10] Brett Gallman from Oh, the Horror! praised the film, calling it a successful imitator of Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Comparing it to Hooper's film, Gallman wrote, 'Motel Hell is one such successful imitator because it doesn’t just tap into these comedic implications—it unlooses them like a driller would a fount of oil, as its crude but wicked sense of comedy eventually spews forth, soaking the film’s proceedings with an offbeat vibe that forces audiences to consider just what in the hell is really going on here.'[11]
Arrow in the Head rated the film 7/10, commending the film's acting, direction, and humor, but writing that the pacing, script, and finale should have been tighter.[12]
Author and film critic Leonard Maltin awarded the film 1.5 out of 4 stars. In his review, Maltin wrote that, although it was nice to see Rory and Wolfman share screen credit and commended its lively finale, he felt that the film still failed to distinguish itself.[13]TV Guide wrote, 'Motel Hell could have been a great black comedy, but the uneasy direction of Kevin Connor fails to get most of the picture off the ground.'[14] Dennis Schwartz from Ozus' World Movie Reviews gave the film a grade C-, writing that it is 'tasteless, gruesomely awkward and moronic'.[15] Chuck Bowen from Slant awarded the film 3/5 stars, writing that, although the horror portion of the film was somewhat effective, it failed to be even remotely funny.[16]
Home media[edit]
In 2002, MGM released Motel Hell as part of its 'Midnite Movies' collection of double feature DVDs with the 1974 Deranged. On May 13, 2013, Arrow Video released the Region BBlu-ray for distribution in the U.K.[17]
On August 12, 2014, Scream Factory released a Region A Blu-ray for distribution in the United States and Canada.[18]
Legacy[edit]
The film has gained a cult following over the years.[19] Motel Hell is referenced in the weird horror short story 'Metaphysica Morum,' by Thomas Ligotti.[20] The film is similarly referenced in 'The Conspiracy Against the Human Race,' Ligotti's only non-fiction work.[21]
References[edit]
- ^Box office and business data for Motel Hell at the Internet Movie Database
- ^'Motel Hell'. Turner Classic Movies. Atlanta: Turner Broadcasting System (Time Warner). Retrieved January 4, 2017.
- ^Prince 2000, p. 135.
- ^'Motel Hell (1980) - Weekend Box Office Results - Box Office Mojo'. www.boxofficemojo.com.
- ^'Motel Hell (1980) - Rotten Tomatoes'. Rotten Tomatoes.com. Flixer. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^'Motel Hell Reviews - Metacritic'. Metacritic.com. MetaCritic. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Ebert, Roger (January 1, 1980). 'Motel Hell'. Roger Ebert. Chicago: Ebert Digital LLC. Retrieved January 4, 2017.
- ^Tyner, Adam. 'Motel Hell (Blu-ray) : DVD Talk Review of the Blu-ray'. DVD Talk.com. Adam Tyner. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^'Motel Hell (1980)'. Terror Trap.com. The Terror Trap. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Arrigo, Anthony. 'Motel Hell (Blu-ray) - Dread Central'. Dread Central.com. Anthony Arrigo. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Gallman, Brett. 'Horror Reviews - Motel Hell (1980)'. O the Horror.com. Brett Gallman. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^'Motel Hell - Horror Movie Reviews'. JoBlo.com. The Arrow. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Leonard Maltin (3 September 2013). Leonard Maltin's 2014 Movie Guide. Penguin Publishing Group. p. 952. ISBN978-1-101-60955-2.
- ^'Motel Hell - Movie Reviews and Movie Ratings'. TV Guide.com. TV Guide. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Schwartz, Dennis. 'motelhell'. Sover.net. Dennis Schwatrz. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Bowen, Chuck. 'Motel Hell'. Slant Magazine.com. Chuck Bowen. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^'Motel Hell Blu-ray (United Kingdom)'. Blu-ray.com. Retrieved 2016-11-22.
- ^'Motel Hell Blu-ray: Collector's Edition'. Blu-ray.com. Retrieved 2016-11-22.
- ^Hamman, Cody. 'Face-Off: Eaten Alive vs. Motel Hell'. JoBlo.com. Cody Hamman. Retrieved 16 August 2018.
- ^Ligotti, Thomas (June 2014). The spectral link. Burton, MI. ISBN9781596066502. OCLC865496114.
- ^Ligotti, Thomas (2010). The conspiracy against the human race : a contrivance of horror. New York, New York: Viking. p. 166. ISBN9780143133148. OCLC1023857590.
Sources[edit]
- Prince, Stephen (2000). Screening Violence. New Brunswick, New Jersey: Rutgers University Press. p. 135. ISBN978-0813528175.
External links[edit]
- Motel Hell at IMDb
- Motel Hell at AllMovie
- Motel Hell at Box Office Mojo
- Motel Hell at Rotten Tomatoes
- Motel Hell at the American Film Institute Catalog
Retrieved from 'https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Motel_Hell&oldid=1020772560'
We've all enjoyed watching Gordon Ramsay bravely sampling the food on Kitchen Nightmares, he's loved some dishes but mostly he has hated the food he has been served.
Gordon Ramsay has prayed to the food poisoning God's to survive, he's spat the food out and even vomited on occasion.
I'm always asked whether Gordon has ever liked any of the food he samples on Kitchen Nightmares so for your reading pleasure is a summary of Gordon's opinions on the food, with some of his famous zingers!
It's not often that Gordon likes the food but there are some dishes he has liked and even loved!
Momma Cherri's - Loves all of the food- The catfish goujons with homemade pineapple salsa are nice and light and the main is a clumsy mess of soul food - ribs, chicken and succotash but tastes phenomenal with tender ribs and he empties his plate!
The Mixing Bowl - Liked the crab cakes - The crab cakes were unexpectedly fresh, good but not award winning and the zuchini pancakes were stodgy, bland and thick. The seared salmon was bland and the sauce was heavy, soggy and vinegary with 'garlic everywhere'.
Handlebar - Liked the chowder - The chowder was 'nicely seasoned, very tasty and perfect for a winter's day'. The seafood crepes are rubbery, the scallops were firm, the prawns overcooked and the crab meat is plastic, imitation crab meat. The filet fondue was rancid, pointless and a joke.
Bazzini - Liked the dessert - Gordon allows Paul to choose his best dishes for him. The fettuccine is cold and bland and the chicken Milanese is hard, dry and a mess. The risotto is stuck to the plate, tastes of mush and is absolutely disgusting. The almond crusted tilapia is greasy and bland. Gordon loves the desserts, he brands the carrot cake delicious and even asks for the recipe.
Zekes - Liked the dessert - The Boiled Shrimp is frozen, soft, difficult to peel, mushy and nasty, the Oysters Cortello are dreadful, the 'giraffes tongue' Chicken Fried Steak is bland with no seasoning but the Bread Pudding is delicious.
Blackberry's - Loves the dessert - The Pork Chop with Mac and Cheese is dry and the mac and cheese is overcooked and bland, the collard greens are bland, soggy and limp, the chitlins smell and cause Gordon to throw up in the bathroom. The red velvet cake however is delicious and he even gets a kiss from Mary for his compliment.
Morgans - Liked the dessert - The pan fried prawns are over cooked and solid, the sausage dish is a massive portion and the apricot mashed potato is bizarre but Gordon likes the light sticky toffee pudding cooked by Emma.
Burger Kitchen - Likes David's Second Attempt Burger- The California burger, which is undercooked, underseasoned and bland, with a sweet and doughy bun and the Natural Burger is raw in the middle, the cowboy burger has a tiny bun and is overcooked, greasy and bland. The Australian meat pie is a mess, disgusting and the pastry is soggy. Disappointed by the first performance the owner and chef both cooked a burger of their own recipe and Gordon loves David's own recipe burger, juicy and delicious.
Sante Le Brea - Gordon did not like the food, Tubs enjoyed the turkey patty - The turkey patty melt does not look healthy, it's dry and disgusting but Tubs the dog loved the turkey patty, even having seconds. The moga dufu is a joke, the rice is cooked to hell and overall, it's shocking. The blackened salmon is very blackened, disgusting and dry, it taste's too fishy as if not properly stored.
Peter's - Did not like the food - The crab cake has a terrible salad with rotten bits and the crab cake itself is cold in the middle, 'gross' and isn't fresh crab. The lobster ravioli is covered in parsley and the lobster is 'baby food inside gunk'.
Dillon's - Did not like the food - The vegetable appetiser looks like a 'dehydrated turd' and is actually meat. The dry beef bhuna turns out to be lamb and the lamb biriani is garnished with a rotten tomato rose. The salmon nicoise looks like a doormat and he refuses to eat it, insisting the manager eats it.
Seascape - Did not like the food - The crab cakes have 'parsley everywhere', fall apart, taste frozen and are a crap cake. The pesto lobster ravioli is soggy with a strange taste inside. The Cajun salmon is served with pesto which has separated and curdled and 'looks like an oil slick'. The salmon itself is solid and dry.
The Olde Stone Mill - Did not like the food - The crab cake tastes really strange with a sour mayonnaise taste, the shrimp is a first and the chopped salad looks like it's been squashed in an ice cream cone. The tilapia looks like someone's had 'a sh*t in the bag and stuck it in the oven'/'it had come out of a babies diaper' and the taste is pretty gross whereas the risotto sticks to the top of your mouth.
Sebastian's - Did not like the food - The calamari are frozen and lead to Gordon asking the waitress for a sick bag. The House Special 'Popeye Pizza' has a soggy base. https://truetfiles921.weebly.com/what-is-the-best-audio-recording-software.html. The New York Strip 'looks like a can of dog food'.
Finn McCool's - Did not like the food - The spring roll is bizarre looking , the salmon has a balsamic reduction drizzle, is horrible and doesn't taste of salmon at all. The shepherds pie is greasy and disgusting and Gordon rushes to the toilet and we hear retching, potential vomit situation.
Lela's- Did not like the food - The soup tasted like it was canned, the nachos weren't made fresh in the morning, they were made yesterday. Gordon asks where the lamb is before refusing to eat it after discovering it it frozen. He asks for a fresh dessert but an argument breaks out when the brownies have all been eaten.
Campania - Did not like the food - The soup was bland, tasteless with bought in tortellini. There is too much garlic in the sauce for the ravioli and the chicken 'looks like a bison's tongue' and is dry and overcooked.
The Secret Garden - Did not like the food - The shrimp salad is disgusting, the prawns are stone cold and under cooked. The steak was 'tough as old boots' and the carrots raw, 'fine if you're a rabbit' and the shoe string potatoes were a deep fat fried mess on top.
Giuseppi's - Did not like the food - The octopus is like rubber and 'a mouthful of hubba bubba.' The potato skins had hideous, plastic cheese on them. The eggplant rollantini was bland, milky, spongy and piping hot, as if microwaved.
Trobiano's- Did not like the food - The egg plant tower is ghastly, stone cold and tasteless. The chicken wrapped shrimp confuses Gordon and the shrimp is rock hard. The salmon is 'dry and absolutely hideous'.
Black Pearl - Did not like the food - The chowder is watery, the mussels Bangkok will burn your mouth off and the lobster mac and cheese is chewy and rich. The Connecticut roll is horrible, soaking wet and like eating a wet diaper, the Maine is not seasoned and bland and he doesn't even taste the New York City roll.
J Willy's - Did not like the food - The pizza is the strangest pizza Gordon has ever seen as it is filled with ranch dressing. The ribs are coated in a generic sauce and have not been trimmed, Gordon gets a mouthful of fat, grease and cartilage. The pulled pork sandwich is covered in a processed 'glue' cheese, it's ghastly, sweet and tastes of nothing.
Hannah and Mason's - Did not like the food - The french onion soup is greasy and caked with cheese and bread and tastes like 'the dregs from the dishwasher.' The lamb is under cooked, cold in the middle and hideous and the sauce is extremely sweet. The quiche has collapsed as if it's been left out of the fridge and the salad is old.
Jack's Waterfront - Did not like the food - The krab omelette was rubber and tasteless and was going straight in the trash. The fish and chips was rubbery '. like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth.' The honey pecan salmon was absolutely disgusting and overly sweet, one of the worst salmon dishes he has ever eaten.
Sabatiello's - Did not like the food - The wedding soup was hideous, bland, vegetables boiled to death with grey, anaemic meatballs. The lasagne looks like it's been dropped, tastes hideous, synthetic and is not home made. The steak is tough, not seasoned and greasy.
Fiesta Sunrise - Did not like the food - The burrito looks like 'someone has been sick on my plate' with dry chicken that tastes like it's been cooked weeks ago. The rice looks old as if it's leftover from Christmas and older than Gordon.
Cafe 36 - Did not like the food- The risotto is mush, salty and it disintegrates in your mouth. The duck salad is a bizarre combination that doesn't work. and the salmon crepe is the 'crap of the day', it's mushy, hideous and absolutely shocking.
Hot Potato Cafe- Did not like the food - The hot potato soup was thick, looks a mess, tastes like lumps of glue, bland and was an embarrassment. The spud skins were frozen 3 weeks ago and taste dreadful. The shepherds pie was a huge portion with two thirds of potato and the minced lamb is greasy.
Flamangos - Did not like the food - . The tuna is extremely hot and an embarrassment to tuna. The platter is spat out by Gordon after he gets the meat stuck on the decorative centre piece. The flaming filet Mignon is served table side by Bill but the steak is chewy, the toughest he has ever tasted in his life.
Mojito - Did not like the food - The classic chicken soup comes out quickly and is cold, Gordon sends the soup back. The beans are extremely salty, even Chef Marcello winces upon tasting them. The tilapia is raw and is sent back to the kitchen.
Lido Di Manhattan - Did not like the food - The eggplant roll is spat out by Gordon, the eggplant is raw and piled in grease. The spicy ahi tower is compressed, the tuna is grainy, furry, tastes frozen and is gross. The chicken tortellini salad tastes like rubber, is hideous and is also stone cold.
Le Bistro - Did not like the food - Gordon asks Andy to show off his food instead of him ordering from the menu. Gordon is served Duck Rillette, which is sent back after Gordon bites into cartilage and a bone and the lamb curry roll is rubbery.
Casa Roma - Did not like the food - The stuffed mushrooms are soggy, tasteless, taste frozen and very watery. The Monte Crisco sandwich has powdered sugar on top and is dripping in fat. The Deluxe pizza has so thick dough that it is raw in the middle.
Mama Rita's - Did not like the food - The tamale is like a soaking wet newspaper and dry, no surprise as it is prepared in bulk and then steamed to order. The Chimichangas are dry again, he brands them Chimi-chuck-it-in-the-bin. The steak burrito is disgusting and looks like a diaper, it is like eating wet cardboard. He insists the server tastes the burrito and he is seen repeatedly spitting into the bin in disgust.
Anna Vincenzo's - Did not like the food - The salad looks like a f-ed up version of a science lab, the salmon is dry and over cooked and it tastes like cardboard. The Snapper Anna looks like a dogs dinner and tastes of mush. The pizza is soggy in the middle, bland and dreadful.
Fleming - Did not like the food - The Cured Salmon Gravlax is hideous, overdone and tastes like fly paper, there is a fly on the plate. The Frikadelle is mushy, bland, disintegrates but easy on the dentures. The Grandfather Duck looks like it was roasted a couple of days ago, isn't moist and the worst of the dishes.
Sushi Ko - Did not like the food - The miso soup doesn't taste fresh, isn't warm and very salty. The green tower comes with a grey hair and the sashimi tastes frozen and chewy. The sushi pizza is rancid and Gordon spits it out branding it an insult to pizza and sushi.
Spanish Pavilion - Did not like the food - The lobster bisque looks disgusting, tastes very creamy and like the lobster was dead before it was cooked. The garlic chicken is swimming in oil and the chicken tastes dry and dreadful and the paella is badly seasoned and overcooked.
Classic American -Did not like the food- The Mac & Cheese is gross and a mouthful of goo, it tastes pre made. The Fried Calamari is soft and chewy and tastes frozen. The bomb burger is unseasoned and the meat chewy.
PJ's Steakhouse - Did not like the food - The crab cakes looks like someone has spat on the plate and like a piece of art, it is disgusting and rancid, served with a piece of plastic. The filet mignon was tough and served with raw onions. The ravioli looks like the biggest pile of s*** ever to be served in Queens and is disgusting and tart.
Grasshopper Also - Did not like the food- The french onion soup is dreadful like sliced onions in dish water.The shepherds pie has gravy on the top and is actually a cottage pie as made with beef, it has cold congealed gravy that is like glue. The fisherman's platter is soft, bland and rubbery.
Davide - Did not like the food - The Caesar salad takes 8 minutes, the salad has just been washed so the dressing runs off the salad. The eggplant is soggy, spongy and under cooked, it was cooked 3 weeks ago. The ravioli is filled with goo, nasty and is store bought. The rack of lamb has a burnt crust, the garlic is bitter and Gordon can't taste the lamb.
Down City - Did not like the food - The soup was stone cold and grainy and the crab cakes were mush and cold in the middle. In the restaurant he orders calamari, 3 way nachos and meatloaf - the calamari is soaking wet, chewy and is spat out quickly and the nachos are a mess, more like a funeral in your mouth than a party. The meatloaf isn't even hot and is a chunk of solid stodge.
Cafe Tavolini - Did not like the food - The meatball salad is a mess, soggy and gross and the stuffed clams have no clams only breadcrumbs. The salmon is under cooked and stone cold in the middle, the rice is an insipid gloop.
Kingston Cafe - Did not like the food- The patties are soggy as the pastry is raw and the sauce is gross. The jerk chicken has the same sauce and he asks for it to be taken away, the chicken is cold and overcooked bland rice.
La Frite - Did not like the food- The salad is a large portion but the sauce is acidic and overpowering, the seafood crepe is hideous, hot in the middle and stone cold on the sides, the quiche is microwaved and he doesn't even taste it.
Capri - Did not like the food - The meatball sandwich has bought in meatballs that has been microwaved, the pizza has so many toppings on it, it is gunk and the chicken smells as it is old.
Hotel Hell Mono Power Mac Os X
Oceana - Did not like the food- The gumbo is disgusting, tastes old and an embarrassment to Bourbon Street, the Crab Cakes are soggy and taste frozen and the duck is tough. The waitress and Rami taste the duck and agree it is tough.
Leone's - Did not like the food - The risotto is a lump, the food is bland, the seafood in the Zuppa Di Pesce stinks and is full of grit, the calamari is soaked in balsamic vinegar and chilli, there is chicken drained in balsamic vinegar and bland pasta with no seasoning. Many of the dishes are overpowered by garlic.
Mike & Nellies - Did not like the food - The sauce is bland, watery and the shrimps taste like rubber, the chicken murphy looks appalling, is overcooked, wet soggy and tasteless and the Steak Nellie is burnt and tastes of charcoal.
Luigi's D'Italia - Did not like the food - The fried ravioli is pre-made, horrible and doesn't taste like cheese, the mahi mahi fish is bland, unseasoned and mush and the linguini has weak sauce is full of grainy seafood and the calamari has a weird texture. Hidden angel: bitsy adaptation mac os.
The Greek at the Harbor - Did not like the food- The calamari is greasy and terrible, the cold mezze plate has runny hummus, the hot mezze plate is cold in the middle, with greasy filo pastry and the moussaka is drab with raw eggplant and mushy beef.
Michons -Did not like the food - Gordon is given a complimentary smoked chicken wing that is dry. The salad has rotten tomatoes, the ribs are dry and chewy, the cornbread is dry, the black eyed peas are hideous, the baked beans taste canned, the collard greens are hideous and sweet and the brisket is chewy.
El Greco - Did not like the food - The zucchini is disgusting, badly seasoned and bland, the lamb shank is anaemic, grey and salty and the moussaka is a disaster and Gordon questions when it was made.
Park's Edge - Did not like the food - Gordon finds the strange flavour combinations and cooking methods bizarre and is not impressed by the Grilled Salad (!), sesame salmon and fried oysters branding them all inedible and disgusting.
Spin-A-Yarn Steakhouse - Did not like the food - The greek sampler is ghastly with canned foods and the salmon is mixed with mashed potato, the crab louie is made with canned crab and is disgusting and the filet mignon is rubbery with ghastly, cough medicine teriyaki sauce.
Charlies - Did not like the food - The toasted ravioli is raw, the frutte de mare is overcooked with mush pasta and the mussels taste old, the lasagna is cold in places and has a bizarre, pink sauce and the garlic chicken pizza is doughy with raw pastry.
Cafe Hon - Did not like the food - The Big Bay Club had delicious crab but the rest was horrible with stone cold, tainted shrimp, the Much Better than Moms Meatloaf is bland, dreadful and served with raw broccoli and the English Style fish and chips was greasy with dry fish and soggy batter.
Chiarella's - Did not like the food - The Steak Sarah Ann is steak is caked in cheese and raw, the Veal Sinatra is chewy and dreadful and Land and Sea Sheree isn't lobster or filet mignon and is bland, overcooked and chewy.
Zocalo - Did not like the food- The Queso Fundido is a microwaved, greasy mess, the Cochinita Pibil is unseasoned, the Chile Relleno is salty with spongy cheese and the Molcajete is uncooked, bitter and bland.
La Galleria 33 - Did not like the food- The gnocchi and meatballs are rubbery and bland, the veal paradiso is overcooked, the chicken marcella is sweet and bland and the seafood ravioli is disgusting layers of gunk.
Mama Maria's - Did not like the food - The tortellini di patate is bland, spaghetti meatballs are rubbery and dry and the margherita pizza is too greasy. He did not like the mouldy dessert display platter.
Ms. Jean's Southern Cuisine - Did not like the food - Gordon attempts to order a number of menu items but most of it is unavailable. The pork chop is drier than the Sahara desert, the ribs are salty and the mac and cheese is bland and overcooked. The sweet tea is like sugar syrup.
Barefoot Bob's - Did not like the food- The Bob's Big Buoy Platter is rubbery, soggy and unseasoned, the chowder is floury and bland and the Bob's Lobster Roll is soggy and overfilled with lobster.
Olde Hitching Post Restaurant & Tavern- Did not like the food - The cranberry haddock is watery and bland with under cooked sweet potato and soggy spinach, the meatloaf is bland, dry and unseasoned and the lobster ravioli is dreadful and cold in the middle.
Levanti's Italian Restaurant - Did not like the food - The stuffed banana peppers are watery and smothered in cheese, the Italian stuffed filet is raw and the Chicken Carletta is very garlicky with dry, hard chicken.
Sam's Mediterranean Kabob Room - Did not like the food - The lamb shank is bland, boiled lamb, the vegetable combo is dreadful and bland, the gyro is dry and the top sirloin is overcooked and dry with a side of over buttered and over cooked scampi.
Nino's Italian Restaurant - Did not like the food - The one Meat Ball is bland, soggy and the sauce is over salted, the chicken piccata is dreadful with floury, slimy chicken and the Egg Plant Parmigiana goes untasted by Gordon as he argues with Nino.
Mill Street Bistro - Did not like the food - The elk feature is tough, the catch of the day is dry and greasy, the scallops en croute has rubber scallops and raw pastry, the elk quesadilla is chewy and tough, the french onion soup is greasy and lacking onions and cheese, the oysters rockefella is bitter and the vegetarian ravioli is ice cold.
Yanni's - Did not like the food - The Pumpkin Hummus is hideous and has too much garlic, the Moussaka is full of grease with under cooked eggplant and the House Gyro is a mess, looking like a plate of puke.
Prohibition Grille - Did not like the food- The 'Soup of the Day' is gnarly and slop, the oysters are also bland, the collared greens are mush, the salmon is unseasoned and the steak is tough and grey.
Chappy's - Did not like the food - The fried green tomatoes are bland, the gumbo looks a mess, is watery and bland and the steak and lobster rocket is filled with gristle.
Amy's Baking Company - Did not like the food - The pear and fig prosciutto pizza has raw dough, the blue ribbon burger has a soggy greasy bun, the salmon burger is overcooked and red pepper ravioli smells weird and has a bizarre sweet and sour flavour.
Pantaleone's - Did not like the food - The sausage pizza is greasy with a thick crust, the meatball hero is disgusting, the calzone is huge but cold in the middle and the linguine with clams is swimming in juice from the canned clams.
Old Neighborhood Restaurant - Did not like the food - The New Orleans shrimp is pale due to the bland, creamy sauce, the salmon special also has the same bland, creamy sauce as the shrimp and the scallops have a bizarre chipotle sauce.
Kati Allo - Did not like the food- The pastitisio is boiling in the middle as if microwaved but bland, the gyro platter is bland and tastes frozen and the pork sausage dish is greasy and the garlic is too strong.
Mangia Mangia - Did not like the food - The soup of the day is a solid sludge the mushroom ravioli has a terrible white sauce, the veal piccata is raw in the middle, the salmon is drenched in balsamic vingear and tastes froze, the lasagna is still frozen in the middle and the spaghetti and meatballs are tasteless.
Zayna Flaming Grill - Did not like the food - The dip sampler is oily, the fava beans are ruined by a Z of cream on top, the Kibbi rolls taste frozen and the Zayna combo platter is bland and dry.
Bella Luna - Did not like the food - The Mussells Marinara has chewy mussels and too much sauce, the Veal Saltimbooca is over cooked and under seasoned and the Penne pasta dish tastes like baby vomit.
Hotel Hell Mono Power Mac Os 11
Bonapartes - Did not like the food- The signature scallops dish is rancid and leads Gordon to get vomit and retch and it is later revealed he had food poisoning as a result.
The Glasshouse - Did not like the food- The duck cakes with chilli jam looks like a scotch egg and contains a large bone and the lamb shank with parsnip crisps is fatty with strange smelling, oily parsnip crisps.
Mono Mac Os
The Walnut Tree Inn - Did not like the food - The porcini and parma ham lasagna is boring and the fish stew is overcooked with uncleaned mussels and grit at the bottom of the dish.
Moore Place - Did not like the food - The deep fried Camembert was disgusting, the wine smells as it is corked and the Duck A L'Orange was very tough.
La Lanterna - Did not like the food - The minestrone soup is greasy, the Italian sausage dish looks like '2 poodles penises doused in parsley' and the amaretto cake is bought in and still frozen in the middle.
D-Place - Did not like the foodBgsjam7 - with our powers combined mac os. - The scallop and shrimp cocktail is rubbery and overcooked and the rice is microwaved and the tiramisu creme brulee is a runny liquid and embarrassing from a French chef.
La Rivieria - Did not like the food - The pre starter Potato Soup is too rich, the scallop starter has too many different flavours, the duck is also over complicated with 12 different flavours and he is told how to eat his dessert platter.
Oscars - Did not like the food - The paella is bland and is made with crab sticks, the carbonara has a sour, vinegar taste and the chicken is bland.
The Sandgate Hotel - Did not like the food - The sushi starter has under cooked, hard rice and the chicken is missing the potatoes and only tastes of the tomato sauce running through the centre of it.
Clubway 41 - Did not like the food - The Salmon and Strawberry salad is a strange combination that does not work, the Pork with Brie and Nectarine sauce is dry with a disgusting sauce and bending parsnip crisps.
La Gondola - Did not like the food - The spaghetti bolognese is a large portion for a starter and the salmon is dated with unnecessary sides and is also an over generous portion.
La Parra de Burriana - Did not like the food - The filet steak kebab is cooked unevenly and poorly presented on a hook and his creme catalana is burnt.
The Fenwick Arms - Did not like the food - The prawn salad is over complicated and served in a martini glass and the rack of lamb is like chewing a golf ball.
Rococo - Did not like the food - The fish soup served in a tea cup tasted off, the Duck Egg on Toast is over complicated and soggy, Gordon's scallop dish tastes frozen and the duck is cooked well but spoilt by the medicinal sauce and outdated baby veg.
Ruby Tates - Did not like the food - The platter of fruit de mer is served warm rather than on ice and is a disaster as the lobster still has the poo sack inside it and the oysters smell off.
Piccolo Teatro - Did not like the food- The hummus salad is disgusting and the carrot gratin is spat out by Gordon and is branded an insult to vegetarians.
The Priory - Did not like the food - The carvery has overcooked roast potatoes, the stuffing is rock hard and impossible to cut through, the Yorkshire pudding is soggy and the turkey and beef are both dry.
The Fish and Anchor - Did not like the food- The minestrone soup is weird looking and chunky, the fish itself is nicely roasted but the dish is spoilt by raw shallots and the curry has 'welsh snot' spinach in it that spoils the texture of the dish and is an Uncle Ben's sauce
The Curry Lounge - Did not like the food - The sea bass is unseasoned and tasteless, the chicken in the korma is dry and the dish is greasy and the naan arrives swinging on a stand.
The Granary - Did not like the food - The shark steak dish from Australia is bizarre as the steak is smothered in stringy mozzarella and Gordon brands it ghastly.
Runaway Girl - Did not like the food - The paella rice is mush, the rabbit is dry, the fish stew tastes frozen and the calamari is rubbery and the duck tastes reheated and looks like cat food.
Martin's Bistro - Did not like the food - The Orange Duck is cooked in orange squash and disgusting and the lamb shank is pre-packaged and boiled in a bag so Gordon refuses to eat it as it is packed with preservatives in order for it to be stored at room temperature.
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